The Silent Marriage Killer Is Revealed…and It’s Not What You’d Expect

My mum’s one of those people who is a big fan of self-help books and seminars. You name it; she’s been to them all – from Tony Robbins and Dr. Wayne Dyer to Les Brown. Needless to say I get the lingo of self-improvement. So when I read a piece by writer Derek Harvey, I felt completely at home when he said he was at a seminar and one of the speakers asked the audience a question about “what the biggest cause of divorce” is.

It’s one of those things that self-help gurus throw out there at a crowd. Clearly it’s a trick question, because the answer is never what you think it is. Six years ago, shortly after he married his wife Tessa J. Harvey, and after they’d had premarital counseling, Harvey threw up his hand like that overexcited brainy kid that every class has. He gave what he thought was the answer: “Sex, money and communication.”

Obviously he was wrong (because that’s what often happens at these seminars) and the speaker enlightened him with the real reason – the real silent killer that could end any marriage. I must admit that, despite all the self-help-type-speak, the answer that he received makes a lot of sense.

Derek Harvey and his wife Tessa J.
Credit: Twitter / @mrderekharvey

What is the silent marriage killer?

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Marissa Charles

Born and raised in London, Marissa Charles is an award-winning journalist who has written for newspapers and magazines around the world. Her work has appeared in publications in the UK, the US, Australia, South Africa and France. She loves writing about health, fitness, celebrities, true crime and human-interest stories Her byline has appeared in a variety of publications, including EBONY, the Daily Mail Online, The Guardian, Essence, the New York Post,,, and British Glamour. Marissa currently lives in Los Angeles, California. She has no children yet but is a proud – and at times embarrassing – godmother.

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