I’m in a Detroit backstage room staring at purple walls covered in misogynistic graffiti. I’m happy my 20 month-old daughter didn’t come to the club tonight: it’s dark, dismal, and smells moldy. She, meanwhile, just took a bath back at the hotel with my mom, who is nannying this tour. I called to say goodnight and to brush her teeth. She requested Gummi Bears (“Dummi?”): my mom’s reward when she brushes her teeth (typical grandmother spoilage). She’s having a “normal” night at “home.” That’s my biggest concern living this kind of life – as a mom and a working, touring musician – I want my child to feel normal and at home.
Magnolia has been on about 5 U.S tours and one European tour. While at home, she goes to daycare for 10 hours a week so that my husband/bandmate and I can write and record. We’ve justified our lifestyle by noting we spend way more time with her than most working parents do. In fact, there are 2 parents with her 90% of the time. Regardless, I still often envy the stay-home moms I know. After all, they have consistency whereas my life is uprooted every time a tour starts. People tell me that it’s important to “make time to be your own person” once you have a child. I hope that by example, my daughter will see music is a big part of who I am, and that will inspire her to define herself…through art or music or science, whatever it is that she’ll love.