Lice. Need I Say More?

'Tis the season.

I know, the headline just sucker punched you right in the crotch. And it’s stinging. So I’m gonna give you a minute to get your bearings.

(Dramatic pause.)

Now I know what you’re thinking, this is a joyous and festive time of the year, so why the hell did she just mention that word and ruin the entire mood?!

I did hesitate, believe me. But then my urge to be controversial took over and here we are. Sorry.

I work in an elementary school, that’s my problem. And it’s almost winter. And with the emergence of hats and scarfs and hoods and snuggling, it also means the awakening of The Bugs. ‘Tis the season, I guess. So that puts the topic on the very forefront of my brain. And the way I typically deal with things that are disproportionately on my mind is to unload them onto your mind. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel infinitely better.

Look, I’ve been there. I get it.

Just the word itself is brutal, in any context. No matter who’s talking about it, or why, the mere mention of lice causes a visceral reaction in people unlike anything I’ve ever seen. People sweat, people shake, people cry. Grownups everywhere become paralyzed with fear.

I’ve had moms come to my window to dismiss their kids and I’ve been worried to let them get back in their cars and drive home, that’s how overcome they are. It’s sad. Just the word alone conjures up such primal emotions that people can’t control themselves.

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Lisa Sugarman

Lisa Sugarman lives just north of Boston, Massachusetts. Read and discuss all her columns at Or, find them on,,, Mamalode, More Content Now, and She is also the author of LIFE: It Is What It Is and Untying Parent Anxiety: 18 Myths That Have You in Knots—And How to Get Free available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and at select bookstores.

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