How to Win People Over
By Sheryl Kraft
How to win people over. We’ve all been there: frustrated when we don’t get what we want. At times we talk until we’re blue in the face and still fail at convincing the other person to see things our way.
You don’t have to cajole, whine, beg or intimidate to get your way. There are better ways. “In life, there are times we literally have to ask for what we want,” says Lizzie Post, co-author of Emily Post’s Etiquette, 18th Edition.
The trick: To do it in a way that doesn’t come across as demanding, pushy or entitled, says Post. The result: Less stress for you, and a win-win situation for all.
Scenario #1: Your spouse insists on reading the newspaper during breakfast, but you’re hungry for conversation. How do you convince him to put down the paper and talk?
Master It: Often people try to win their spouses over with noise and negativity, but this usually results in the opposite, says Alisa Bowman, author of the book and blog, Project Happily Ever. Just ask for what you want, she says. “Get rid of all the language about your emotions and justifications, using as few sentences as possible,” she suggests. Saying something like, “I’d really love it if we could talk over breakfast,” is succinct and to the point, without unnecessary blaming or nagging.