Dear Kids, Hope You Enjoy Your Summer Vacation

Dear Kids,

Please stuff this into your Turns Out Mom Was a Great Mother After All folder.

I’d like to talk to you about summer, the two and a half months in the middle of the year education reformers claim you need to decompress from months of doing crafts, learning to read and understand math, and playing kickball on the playground. It’s what I like to refer to as the What Am I Supposed To Do With These Kids portion of your childhood.

I was told at your age to just go outside and play because it was summer. Obviously things have changed since then because of global warming and heightened awareness about kidnapping. I want you to have a better life.

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Credit: Shutterstock
Credit: Shutterstock


While you spent the last few weeks of school wrapping up projects and celebrating with year-end parties, your old lady was stressing about how to make sure you spend ten weeks mentally and physically stimulated. I know that in order to get you early acceptance into Stanford University or in an Olympic training camp you need every moment of your day to be jam-packed with activities.

It is my guess studies may have at some point proven that children who get to experience various extra curricular activities during summer vacation could possibly have a reduced chance of still living at home at age 28.


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Kate Casey

Kate Casey is a pop culture humor writer. Kate writes gossip analysis and reality television recaps on her popular site Kate deconstructs celebrity spin by translating the tabloids for normal people.

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