Having interviewed hundreds of new dads around the word it’s very rare to hear a man talk about how he bonded with his baby whilst it was still in the womb. For that matter I think the majority of men don’t feel a strong bond with their baby for several weeks or even months. Why is this the case? What can we do about it?
Let’s take a step back and consider for a moment what was happening only one generation ago. Men rarely attended the birth of their children, played a limited role in early parenting and were not expected to really know too much about the whole caper.
How times have changed! I’m sure there were many men in times gone by that would have wanted to play a bigger role but society just didn’t see it as the norm. I feel pretty sorry for those guys! Modern men (on the whole) not only want to play a bigger role but they are expected to play a bigger role.
More double income families and a better understanding of how active fathering can improve the health of both mom and baby have led us to modern parenting but still there exist physical and emotional inequalities.
I’ve thought long and hard about men bonding with their babies better and faster and I think the answer lies in the following:
Men need help to crush the denial phase which normally lasts from the words, “Honey I’m pregnant!” until the baby starts crowning at birth. Some further research into the activities that can help men realize they are a dad from conception onwards.