Being Left Out Hurts: Are You A Mom Responsible For ‘Suburban Social Engineering?’


When it comes to the memories I have from my middle school years, I tend to not think about them very often. I didn’t have a horrible middle school experience per say, but I didn’t have the best one, either. For a pre-tween girl, it’s a time in which your body is going through so many hormonal changes that you don’t know what’s real anymore. Mix that in with boys and THEIR hormones, mean girls and their social challenges, and you have a tornado of emotions that are all over the place. I mean, for some their middle school years can turn out to be the most painful period of their lives.

I recently came across an interesting blog from writer Lisa Barr of Girilla Warfare (if you needed a moment to read her blog title, don’t worry, I did, too). Lisa points out that the reason why so many little girls end up being hellish pre-teen brats is because we mothers are responsible for programming them that way. In other words, she says that parents often use a “Suburban Social Engineering” tactic in which we purposely leave out a friend because they don’t necessarily “fit in” to certain social groups. It sounds crappy, but I’m sure a lot of you out there know what I’m talking about.

Here are just a few examples that Lisa gives us:

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